If you feel worthy, confident, and motivated only when you are achieving your goals, earning the money, and getting external validation – your self value is circumstantial. The moment you experience an income dip, criticism, a ‘failed’ launch (no one signs up to your offer, no one buys your offer, or only three people show up to your Zoom event you planned for a month), or any kind of ‘failure’ – you will feel unworthy, incapable, start doubting yourself, feeling like a ‘failure’, making yourself ‘wrong’, engage in a perpetual self criticism, and/or decide to quit. The underlying problem here (besides the obvious low self worth) is that if you want to achieve BIG impact, make BIG money, achieve extraordinary success and play in BIG league – the circumstantial self value will put a cap on your growth.
If you (almost) have a heart condition/ self-pity party/ nervous breakdown/ a crying marathon every time stock market/real estate market/_____ market/your website crashes, you experience an income dip/ failed launch/ poor response to your marketing campaign/ public criticism/ or any life/business challenge whatsoever – your subconscious mind will ‘protect’ you from attaining massive wealth, success, fame, visibility, impact, investments.
Whether in life or in business you will not be given what you cannot handle, and if you cannot handle massive failures/ dips/ downs you will not be able to handle what comes with massive success, income, fame, impact, and wealth. Even if you do attain it through the sheer determination, talent, or strike of good luck you might very soon lose it or ‘lose it’ because you will not have the solid mindset, mental toughness, and emotional resilience to navigate through the crisis, dips, challenges, criticism, self doubt, failures, and losses along the journey.
We can see this with lottery winners going bankrupt within two years, celebrities having a nervous breakdown or struggling with the addiction after attaining ‘sudden’ fame, successful multimillion dollars business owners/YouTubers/influencers going on ‘sabbatical’ after they start navigating the challenges that come with the ‘next level’ of wealth and growth, coaches engaging in self-pity party, self-doubt marathon and ‘quitting’ after no one signed up for their offer (which is at times ironically called ‘self empowerment’/ ‘confidence building’/ ‘mindset coaching’ program ?!?).
Even one failure, negative social media post, review, mistake, or ‘failed’ launch can make people doubt their value, or even question their existence – the same people who claim they want to be ‘leaders of a new paradigm’, ‘make a massive impact on the world’, ‘empower other women’, change the world, ‘raise the level of consciousness on the planet’, build a successful business or ‘build an empire’.
An insecure king/queen cannot rule the empire with bold confidence. Massive growth does not occur if weak wo(men) are coaching and ‘empowering’ other wo(men), and leaders who doubt themselves lead others. Similarly, if you work with coaches/ experts/ mentors who will (only) validate you, it will put the cap on our growth.
If you are not able to withhold the duality of success and failure, gain and loss, popularity and public criticism, high profits and dips, ebbs and flows, ups and downs, crisis and opportunities – you will not withstand the rising tide of massive wealth, fame, and success. Your subconscious mind will protect you from the pain of failure if you cannot handle it by sabotaging any of your efforts of achieving your next level of success.
The richest people in the world can be 50 or 100 billion $ richer one year and have minus 50 or 100 billion $ net worth the following year. If you cannot even imagine having the capacity of gaining and losing losing tens or hundreds of thousands/millions/ billions of dollars within year(s) – and staying neutral and still be able to navigate your daily life/ company / investment portfolio/ business(es) without ‘losing it’ – you cannot play in that high(er) echelon simply because you cannot handle what comes along such massive amount of wealth, growth, and success.
Investors who make big money know that when the market crashes down it is not the time for self doubt, self pity party, scarcity, or quitting. They know it is just another cycle, and they stay neutral and focus on the opportunities. They know that in the times of crash, it is time to buy low so that can sell high later once the cycle goes back up.
If you are not able to handle the failure, you have the choice to build the self mastery, resilience, and emotional intelligence required for the extraordinary success/ wealth/ fame/ impact or to have radical self honesty and decide to ‘play it safe’ – in order to keep your nervous system regulated and spare yourself and all the people involved in your big ‘dream’ disappointed when you decide to quit after the first loss/ failure/ income dip/ failed launch, or negative review(s).
Making a claim that you want to ‘serve’/ change the world, be a successful entrepreneur/ investor/ leader, or make big money/achieve something great, memorable, and impactful while not being able to handle the pain, loss, or a failure is equivalent to claiming that you want to learn cooking but without ever getting burnt or cut by a knife, or that you want to practice martial arts without ever getting hit by someone.
If you want a coach who will validate you (keep on telling you that you how worthy and wonderful you are, re-affirm to you over and over that you can do it, refer to you as ’King’ or ‘Queen’…) and motivate you to keep on going when you engage in a downward spiral and self doubt/pity party after someone criticised you or no one bought your offer or only three people joined on Zoom or whatever the small issue was that got you down to your emotional knees – I am not the coach for you.
If you want to build the mindset, emotional resilience, inner strength, self mastery, and capacity to hold the duality of success and failures, crisis and opportunities, ebbs and flows, gains and losses, so that you can rise to the unseen and undreamt heights – sign up to work with me and embark onto Scorpionic realm of transformation. After embarking on this journey you will witness your shadows, underlying fears, subconscious limiting beliefs, untapped potential and tamed personal power – and you will come out genuinely empowered and stronger than ever before. Your self value will no longer be circumstantial but inherent. You will be able to see your ‘failures’ through the lens of hidden opportunities and obvious lessons on success.
Please do not sign up for my coaching program if you’re only looking for validation or motivation, or if your goals are mediocre. Sign up to work with me if you desire a real transformation and if you feel you are meant for something BIG, but you feel like you haven’t tapped into your full potential yet or there is still some limiting belief or subconscious underlying fear that is holding you back from making that BIG move that you need/desire to make.
The world needs brave people who are resilient enough to make the move regardless the external circumstances – to innovate, lead (while having a solid self leadership), empower others (while being em-powered themselves), make positive changes, present new ideas and solutions, share knowledge and wisdom that can serve us/ help us/ enlighten us (while being in integrity and living what they teach and preach), and start impactful conversations/ businesses/ movements. Are you one of them? Would you dare to fail along the journey? To fall? To get cut? To get burnt? To get hit while sparing? To get criticised? To play in the higher echelon? To work with a coach/ mentor who will challenge you and not validate you in order to grow and achieve metamorphosis?
If you did not get triggered so far and clicked X (or unfollowed or unsubscribed, lol) you might be one of the few special people who would dare and who I’d love to work with and support in reaching the next level of success and the next depth of personal transformation.
If you want to strengthen your self worth, these free resources below can help you:
Click here to sign up for the free masterclass ‘Self Love Revolution – Mastering Self Worth For Women’.
Click here to download my book ‘Self Worth – Women’s Guide To Increasing Self Worth, Self Respect, and Self Confidence’ for FREE.