“IQ contributes, at best, about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success. That leaves 80 percent to everything else. There are many ways in which your destiny in life depends on having the skills that make up emotional intelligence.” (Daniel Goleman)
One of the most important factors in achieving success in life is self belief. If we do not believe in ourselves and do not have enough self-esteem to apply for certain job opportunity, start a business, or pitch ourselves to important client, customer, or influencer, we will not reach very far in life. If we do not try – the answer is always going to be NO! Even if no one seems to believe in us, we can still succeed, but if we do not believe in ourselves we are doomed to fail.
If we do not have strong self-belief the impostor syndrome, low self worth, and self criticism can hold us back in life and sabotage our success. We can get be broken apart if other people criticise us and give up on our dreams. The most successful people in the world are successful today because they believed in themselves, their business or creative idea, and their dream, and did not give up when they were rejected over and over again and told they would never be successful.
Oprah Winfrey was fired from he first TV station she worked – she was told that she is too emotional while reading news. Arnold Schwarzenegger was told by acting agent (in the beginning of his acting career) that he will never “make it” as an actor in Hollywood. The agent told him that he has “weird body, weird accent, and the weirdest name”. Author of the “Harry Potter” book series J. K. Rowling was told that she will never “earn bread” as a children’s book author, as “kids today don’t read anymore – they’re just playing video games”. Her book was rejected by 12 publishers!
Imagine if any of these people gave up at the early stage of their career after the first setback, negative feedback, or rejection. These people are successful today because they believed in themselves no matter what other people told them. They practiced self empowerment (empowering ourselves – ‘picking ourselves up when we fall’). No matter how talented and skilled all these people have been, they would have be so successful if they .
Self empowerment is all about empowering self – picking ourselves up when we fall, when we experience failure, rejection, negative feedback.
It is the emotional intelligence skill of self compassion, self reassurance, and empowering ourselves – when we feel powerless.
Think for a moment about your beliefs – are they empowering or disempowering? How do you handle criticism and failure? How strongly do you believe in what you’re selling or the work that you’re doing? How much do you believe in yourself? Think about all things you would do in your life if you were not held back by fear of failure or lack of self belief?
If you do not believe in yourself, how can you expect that other people believe in you? When I was giving corporate emotional intelligence workshops with my colleague Lata Singh, in Delhi, I would ask the HR manager if she would hire candidates who have an ‘impressive’ resume, but do not believe in themselves and cannot clearly communicate why the company should hire them and why they are the right person for the job.
“Of course I wouldn’t hire them! If they do not believe that they are the right person for the job, why would I believe in them? Why would I hire them!?’
Would you hire a person cannot articulate with confidence why they are good fit for the job and how they can bring value to your organisation or business? Would you hire an expert who is not confident about his or her expertise? The answer is very likely – NO! Think for a moment how confident you are about your own skills, expertise, and value that you can bring to your clients, customers, organisation…?
How many times you held yourself back when you were supposed to rase your hand and say: “I” or give your opinion? How much did that potentially cost you in terms of your career growth, professional opportunities, or even the amount of money that you make? You can be the most talented and knowledgeable person in the room (or in the company, or at the job interview), but if you do not communicate it with self confidence, other people won’t “buy” it, “believe” it, or know about it.
Therefor, if you desire to thrive in life and career, and make positive impact in the world, apart from developing your professional skills and your IQ, it is also very important to increase your emotional intelligence (STRENGTHENing SELF WORTH, confidence building, and self empowerment).
I wrote the book on self empowerment and strengthening self worth ‘Ja Vrijedim‘. It is available in digital form on PayHip and on Google Books (in 60+ supported countries). It is available currently in my native language. English version will be coming soon! If you want to learn more about setting and achieving your goals, you can check out my online course on Udemy ‘Life Coaching For Women – Change Your Life In 6 Weeks‘.
Note: This text was originally published by TIMES OF INDIA on 11.04.2019.